Ephesians 5: 24 – 25
Love and submission are the two principal ingredients for successful marriage relationship.
Relationship has to do with connection and so also a state of being connected. Marital relationship is a connection between a man and a woman.
How then do we improve on our marital relationship? How do you enjoy your wife or husband the more?
Types of relationship
- Co-dependent relationship, the two function depending on each other.
- Independent relationship one functions without the other
- Domineering relationship. Usually traditional
- Rebound relationship. The two have had a broken relationship trying to experiment with the relationship.
- Open/careless relationship. They are not accountable to each other. Member is free to have an adulterous relationship at any time they feel like.
- Working hard/trying relationship. One party is struggling to make the other party accept them.
- Basically friend relationship.
- Purely sexual relationship.
- Moneybag relationship. Attraction relationship. The members are in it for what they can gain. “For better for stay for worse for go.”
- Good outside relationship. The relationship is for show. Outsiders think the couple are really enjoying themselves because of how they present themselves outside but in secret, they are filled with regrets.
Things that destroy good relationships
- Unhealthy criticism. Continuous barraging with negative criticism will destroy any relationship. When the only thing you can see is the badness of your wife or husband, you are digging the grave of your marriage.
- Whenever an issue is raised and the only thing you do is find a way of escape. In a love relationship that everyone has a right and claims it, it can never be a peaceful relationship. The peaceful and an enjoyable home has the couple who are both at fault. They share the fault.
- Stonewalling. It is refusal to cooperate or refusal to communicate.
- Lack of communication.
- Sex. This is a good thing but if denied, can be a cause of marital relationship breakdown.
- Money. When a spouse is not understanding and impatient, a minor setback in income may negatively affect a good relationship and may go on to destroy it if unchecked.
- Struggles over home chores. In the age where both the man and wife are career persons, the role of housekeeping that traditionally falls on the lap of women could become burdensome. If this is not dealt with lovingly by the man and with understanding and patiently by both parties, it can destroy a good relationship.
- Not making your home your priority.
- Conflict. This will happen from time to time, it must not be too frequent though and must never become unresolvable.
- Trust. Lack of trust or distrust weakens a relationship. Distrust loosens a relationship like water washes off sand on the beach.
26 Ways to improve your marital relationship.
- Love. Submit. Husband love, wife submit.
- Greet your spouse lovingly in the morning
- Send sweet text message.
- After you’ve been away for a while reunite with hugs.
- Touch your spouse. Each touch is a coded message. Lack of touch is a signal you are drifting away.
- Complement your partner all the time.
- Use wisdom to express your needs.
- Respect your spouse.
- Forget the past mistakes
- Take time to listen
- Give priority to your spouse. Give 100% priority.
- Maintain strong communication. Lack of communication has been demonstrated as the strongest cause of breakdown in marital relationship.
- Don’t break marital confidences or use them during arguments.
- Try and understand moods
- Remember these three words 1. I love you, 2. I am sorry, 3. Thank you.
- Make time for each other. Take each other out.
- Appreciate each other. Exchange gifts.
- Keep the romance alive.
- Adjust, and compromise for each other.
- Know the friends of your spouse
- Be there in good and bad times.
- Learn to grow together. Grow in social life, in skill and education.
- Continue to do things that make each of you smile.
- Forgive always.
- Avoid unnecessary suspicion.
- Smile and laugh together always.
In conclusion, build your relationship on Christ, not on myths or traditions, not on trends or your ideas but on Christ alone.
The facilitator has been Rev. Odediran (PhD).